Today is a topic most people try to avoid talking about with others as it brings conflict. With conflict it brings arguments of who's right and who's wrong, who's going to hell and who isn't. Today I want to share with you my beliefs and share my views along with where I came from.
To start I grew up in the Pentecostal church. In a Christian home we said our prayers before meals and before bed. Went to church every Sunday and Wednesday. As a child and youth I was pretty active in church attending children's church, helping in children's church when I aged out, part of the youth group and attended youth functions and trips. I even went on a couple of missions trips. While I enjoyed helping the church and believing in something greater than myself I never felt like I belonged.
I remember as a child feeling different but never knowing why or what to call this feeling. As a child going to children's church every Sunday morning when pray came up we would be asked if we had any requests. For me it was always unspoken and any other groups I attended would be unspoken. My unspoken prayer request and even praying in my room by myself was this: "please dear God take away my desire of other boys and please let me be attracted to girls". For years this was my prayer and for years nothing changed.
My religious or spiritual beliefs changed when I was 15. I started looking at other religions in the library where I pretty much grew up. After a year or two of looking and reading I was drawn to the Wiccan path. While I wasn't able to take the books home I spent my time learning at the library all that I could. At 17 I decided I would follow the Wiccan way and felt like I belonged, I felt like I was finally accepted as who I am.
Today, I no longer consider myself Wiccan but Pagan. I am an Eclectic Grey Pagan Witch. I follow my own path, I try to find balance and believe that there is no white or black magick but shades of grey. You can't have one without the other. I believe there is reincarnation, our ancestors are with us to guide and protect, there are angels and demons, everything is alive and should be considered sacred. Crystals and stones have a vibration to help us, astrology is kinda accurate but isn't full proof, the same way with tarot and runes. I don't need fancy tools or instruments as will and intent is strong enough to perform any spell. I sense the dead, see and/or sense things no one can explain, and hear things that no one else can. A lot of times I'm asked how do you know this or that and I often reply I don't know because trying to explain my beliefs and who I am is difficult for people to understand. My beliefs do not align with my family and very few of my friends online believe the same way as I do. However, instead of shaming or trying to convert them I coexist with them. While I try to ask that they coexist with me I still have them trying to convert me. I simply decline and agree to disagree.
So, short story while I was living in Texas I was working at a hotel and I had a guest ask me if I was a Christian. I told them no and the shock was outstanding because they couldn't believe someone as nice, helpful, understanding, and compassionate as I am could be anything but Christian. When I told them I was pagan I could see their heads spin out of control. They told me that they would have never guessed I was pagan.
This tells me that heathens such as myself can be more Christ-like than any true Christian.