My coming out story really hasn't been publicly told. I've told it to those that ask but that's about as far as I've gone. Today, I'm going to tell you my story.
My story starts at the beginning of 2006. The weekend that my parents found out, my best friend found out first when he came across my Myspace page. He messaged me and asked if it was true. I told him yes, that I am gay. He said ok and didn't hear back from him. A couple of days later on a Friday night I knew that my dad found out. His shift ended at 9pm and he didn't come home right away. At first I thought he was bringing home Chinese food because of how late it was. However, I knew that while I sat at the computer with mom and sister asleep upstairs that he was told about me being gay. It was close to 11pm when he finally came home. He walks in and is very solemn when he says I need to go to bed. I pointed out that it was Friday night and I get to stay up all night like I do every Friday. He responded with "not tonight. We have a meeting at the church with the pastor in the morning". I tried asking more and why and was told to listen and go to bed. So, I went to bed and knew that tomorrow was the day my parents would know the truth.
That morning I woke up, got dressed, and we went to the church and met with the pastor and youth pastor. They asked if I knew why I was there and what this was about. I lied and said no, even though I knew why. They showed me my Myspace page and wanted to know how accurate it was and when I told them it was true and that I am gay. My dad teared up and I tried to assure them that they didn't fail as parents. The pastor quoted scripture and when I told them I wasn't going to change they forced me to delete my account and to never get back on Myspace. They set me up with meetings with the youth pastor and a book for me to read. I went to two meetings and finally left the church as this was also the year they would discover not only was I gay, but I was also pagan.
I can't say that it was easy after that. My parents treated me differently, my depression got worse, I lost my best friend, and I felt alone. After a few months I moved out and in with my grandma ahead of schedule. From what my grandma told me was my parents called her and told her they couldn't deal with me any longer and to pick me and my things up.
My coming out started a very rocky relationship with my parents. I spent 2 almost 3 years estranged from them. They say to come out on your terms. However, sometimes those terms are taken from you for trusting the wrong people. I don't want to ever discourage anyone from coming out. That yes, it should be on YOUR terms. Though you need to know when it's safe. Some parents aren't safe to come out to and some are. I have spent years enjoying YouTube videos of other people coming out. Hearing how scared they were but how surprised their parents and family took it. I knew how my family would take it and tried to stay in the closet. That right was taken from me but now that I am out, I am out and proud forever.
Now, you may be wondering how my relationship with family is now. My relationship with my grandparents on my dad's side has been rocky as I was bible thumped with every visit I made by my grandma. It got to the point where I quit visiting and calling. I regret this decision as my grandma passed away last year. I got to tell her goodbye over the phone and it tore me apart. My relationship with my grandma on my mom's side has never changed. We don't really talk about my sexuality and never had but she knows I'm gay. My relationship with my sister has been estranged for a couple of years now and lied about the reason for leaving my life. My parents on the other hand have been on a rocky road since coming out. I would say it is better than it has ever been. So, don't be afraid of coming out until you are ready and be careful of whom you trust to come out to in the beginning. If you know it isn't safe with family do it on your terms if possible. Happy Pride month!