Back in 2015 I took some CBT tests to understand myself better. It is now the end of 2021 and I revisited those tests and here I will share the results. While the results are in no particular order there many that tie into each other.
In 2015 my anxiety level was very high average score resulting with being easily stressed and worry frequently along with anticipating negative outcomes. My score currently is 50 which means that while I have a tendency to worry, feel stressed, tense, and anxious but not to the extent of excess. My stress level in 2015 was scored as average. Now my stress level is down to normal levels. I feel that this progress is due to medication and change in thought behavior along with change in environment.
Passivity and assertiveness score previously was high average with an indication that I was average. Meaning I knew when to be direct in some situations but that I was also passive and avoidant depending on the situation. However, scoring recently in passivity I kinda got the same answer as previously. That when it comes to assertiveness depending on the situation I will be assertive to protect myself, however there are times that I don't believe that it's worth the effort. This in turn means that I allow others to use me and take advantage of me. That overall I need to learn to be more assertive.
Gregariousness is the tendency to be very outgoing, to seek out and enjoy large social gatherings, and to be the center of attention. My results in 2015 were low average meaning though I enjoy social events I enjoy my time alone. That depending on the situation my preference will change. My current results were low with a rating of 15 rather than a rating of 27. I've become more of an introvert over the years and that while I'm not opposed to social events I'm more into one-on-one encounters. It isn't that I'm not unfriendly or shy but I'm not likely to act comfortably or freely around a large group and relate more to others in a more subdued manner.
Friendliness then was above average scoring 40 meaning I make others feel important, valued, and comfortable. Which makes it more likely for others to seek me out for companionship as I take a keen interest into them and their lives. Now my score is 70 meaning the same as nothing has really changed.
Warmth is the ability to take an interest in other people, to comfort them, and to help them feel at ease. This goes in hand with friendliness and scored in 2015 with a 52. Meaning I'm concerned about others and go out of my way to make others comfortable in turn others may seek me out because I'm encouraging and supportive. The new result is much higher with a 98. Which means I've become more caring and supportive of the people around me.
Talkativeness is the tendency to talk a great deal and to be the focus of attention. My score then and now are low but over the years it dropped from being a 28 to a 23. I talk as much as most people without the need to be the center of attention. I know how to give and take in q conversation. The difference between now and then that affected the score is the anxiety of what other people might think.
Sociability is another i scored low in then and again now but a little higher. As it is defined sociability is my desire to be around others and to enjoy events. I prefer to be alone or in small gatherings rather in large ones. This is partly due to the social anxiety that I have and fear of rejection. When required to be in large gatherings I require alone time to unwind. I often tend to create a balance in my social life.
Leadership is the ability to take charge of situations, to be decisive, and to manage people effectively. The description prior stated that when in need of leadership I know when to step up and take charge. My score between then and now has dropped due to the social anxiety that I suffer from. But overall I am very indecisive. This indecisiveness could have a deep root in my need to please others.
Cooperation is the ability to connect with others and to develop a good working relationship. My score then was high at 53 but higher today at 85. I know how to be cooperative as I work well with others. However, my score also indicates that I'm more likely to put the needs of the group above my own. Which can become detrimental to my self-interest.
Poise is the tendency to act in a self-assured manner in social situations with a pleasant and gracious attitude. My score then was above average indicating that I had a reasonable comfortableness with others. I'm neither socially awkward nor am I particularly self-assured and spontaneous in my interactions with others. However, I'm able to interact with others in a fairly pleasant manner in most situations. My current score was low. This indicating that I'm uncomfortable around people and avoid social situations. It isn't because I don't have the skills my social anxiety interferes.
Provocativeness is the tendency to be confrontational and to stimulate emotional reactions from others. In 2015 I scored a low average indicating that I don't go out of my way to be confrontational but I don't avoid conflict either or mind stating my opinion. I'm more likely to judge my approach to dealing with conflict based upon how important the situation is. If not important, I'm likely to ignore, but if it is important I will confront the problem. In the here and now my score has remained unchanged for the most part. I'm very passive as I don't seek conflict and avoid drawing attention to myself. I avoid potential conflicts to the point that I remain silent instead of expressing my feelings and opinions.
Self-disclosure is the tendency to be spontaneous and to share yourself, your thoughts and feelings freely. Scored very high average then and again now having a high score. I tend to be very open and spontaneous as I freely share my thoughts and feelings. I tend to not censor what is said due to fear of what others might think. My openness my be to excessive without thought of consequences. Which may be detrimental to early relationships as it can be overwhelming.
Stability relates to how I handle my emotions. I scored a very high average in 2015 I have maintained a high score and even raised it meaning that I am able to keep calm under pressure without extreme emotions. I approach problems calmly and with certainty and compose my life in such a way to not create problems in my life.
Happiness and having a positive attitude was scored very high average in 2015. I was optimistic and had a great deal of satisfaction in life. Feeling enthusiastic about life and realizing that happiness is all about perspective and focusing on the positive instead of the negative. My score this time is average that I'm neither excessively happy or unhappy in life. Which indicates that I need to get back to changing my perspective and not dwell on the negative.
Calmness is my ability to handle problems and interpersonal situations. Along with the tendency to be relaxed and easy-going. My score then was very high average as I am calm even during difficult situations. I'm not easily agitated which means I maintain my serenity. Even when faced with stressful situations which means I'm able to maintain a stable life and don't create additional problems in my life. My current result is a high score meaning I've been able to maintain my calmness.
Impulse control is the ability to control behavior and not react immediately based on a sudden urge, need, or current mood state. Scored average with a moderate level of impulse control. I'm not inclined to act impulsively but I'm not excessively controlling my impulse or reactions. I'm able to function effectively by making carefully made decisions and not over-reacting in situations. This allows for spontaneity without dwelling on the process.
Tranquility is the tendency to be emotionally stable without extreme reactions to things. Scoring on the average side I tend to be moderate in my emotional reactions. I notice my emotions but I don't feel them intensely most of the time. I tend to be reasonable with my emotions unless faced with stressful situations or if unexpected events occur. As a result, my emotional reactions can interfere with me achieving what I desire.
Morality then and now is above average meaning I have the tendency to believe in and follow certain values or rules. I have very strong moral principles and beliefs about how to live life and how to treat others. At times I may be inflexible regarding adherence to these rules. My beliefs are expressed through my everyday life. You do not see a separation between my beliefs and other activities of my life.
My score for Conscientiousness then and now is high and is the tendency to be meticulous and careful when completing tasks. I'm especially careful when it comes to work or tasks. I like to plan ahead and make sure there are no careless mistakes. I'm a principled person who believes in the importance of behaving to those principles. I'm more likely to care about my work and treating people with respect. This in turns earns me the respect of others. The downside is causing unnecessary stress by putting to much demand on me that I put to high expectations on others and can create problems for relationships.
Dutifulness is the tendency to follow the rules and do what is expected. I scored then above average indicating that I was greatly concerned about doing what is expected of me and may make decisions based on these expectations rather than on my own desires. As a result, I wasnt feeling satisfied because I was missing out on what I want or I may have become resentful of the expectations of others. Today my score was average meaning I've cut back on how much this affects me. I care a moderate amount but don't allow this to rule my life. I keep in perspective of the rules and expectations and the importance of them as a method of control. By this I use them to my advantage to benefit me, my goals, and getting along with others.
Efficiency is the ability to accomplish tasks decisively and effectively without wasted effort. Scoring then and now has been a high average to average indicating that I'm neither particularly efficient or inefficient. I'm as efficient on a task as I need to be when I need to be. But otherwise have difficulty being as successful as I could be.
Purposefulness is the ability to prepare, focus and accomplish tasks without becoming distracted from the goal. Low average to average between then and now hasn't changed as I tend to focus upon accomplishing my goals to a moderate degree but may have trouble achieving those goals at times. I may not be likely to be consistent in developing clear ideas and plans to help myself achieve my goals. I could benefit from becoming more goal-oriented and developing better skills at following through to achieve what I desire. By learning more effective methods I am more likely to increase my success.
Organization is the ability to plan, attend to necessary details, and to successfully follow-through on tasks. Then I scored very high as I'm detailed, decisive, and I plan ahead. I set manageable standards which makes it more likely for me to achieve my goals. I'm also able to find mistakes in details quickly. Again I scored a high score meaning I've maintained a good organization ability in life.
On the other hand perfectionism is setting impossible or unreasonable goals or expectations with critical evaluation when these demands aren't achieved. Which then I scored also high and again this time as I set perfectionistic demands on myself and others which makes me critical of myself and others. This can take a toll on my self-esteem and could cause problems with others and sets me up for failure.
Orderliness is the tendency to have a routine and keep things in order. It's interesting that in 2015 I scored above average meaning I preferred routine to excessive degree which could have caused problems for me and others. This could have been due to the perfectionistic thinking. My current score shows that I have a balance without it being excessive. I'm able to recognize what degree of organization works well for me.
Cautiousness is the tendency to give forethought to situations, to assess for potential risk, and to act with care. Was scored very low average I gave moderate thought to a situation before taking action. Most of the time I could make adequate decisions without fear or too impulsively. But down side I wasn't taking opportunities due to not being impulsive enough. This lead to increased mistakes and wastesd effort.
Rationality is the tendency to be logical and direct without emotional interference. Low average then indicated that I had a balance between logic and emotion when it came to approaching situations. I was able to develop reasonable and rational solutions to problems. I scored an average score now indicating that nothing has changed and that I am able to address the emotions of a situation without being overwhelmed by them.
Moderation is the tendency to be balanced in behavior and emotions without extremes. Average scoring then and now has indicated that I generally have self-control I sometimes overindulge which has caused problems in health, finances, and probably relationships too.
Understanding is the ability to have concern about others' feelings and to respect their thoughts and opinions. Scoring very high then and now I give great concern for others and respect them and their viewpoints without making assumptions. I take time to understand their situation and experience.
Empathy is the ability to sense other people's emotions and to feel deeply for them. This was an extremely high score then and again now. I experience others emotions as if they were my own. I'm able to connect with others on an emotional level and have an awareness of others needs and feelings.
Sympathy which I feel goes in hand with empathy was scored very high then and again now. I have a deep concern for others as I'm deeply compassionate and kind-heartedness. I tend to go out of my way to help others and put the needs of others above my own. Which is detriment to myself as my needs don't get met.
Pleasantness is another where I scored high then and now. I'm easily easy-going and tolerant of others. Not easily yo judge or criticize others as I'm supportive and encouraging of others.
Tenderness scoring again high then and now meaning I'm particularly sensitive to emotional experiences. I tend to be sentimental and develop attachments to objects and places based upon the emotional meaning associated with them. I'm greatly concerned about others and are easily moved by their plights. I'm likely to feel deeply those who are more vulnerable such children, the elderly, and animals.
Nurturance is another that was scored high then and now. I tend to be a care-taker focusing on others needs above my own. This is beneficial to those in my life but can cause undue stress on me. This can inturn cause others to be dependent on me instead of taking care of their own needs.
Toughness indicating my ability to handle stress and overwhelmed emotions in a calm manner. This was scored a high average in 2015. This time it was an average score. The result was the same that I may be stressed at times but cam handle it without being overwhelmed. However, I could use some stress management techniques as well as cognitive methods to overcome and increase the stress reaction.
Cool-headedness is the tendency to remain calm when faced with problems and to not make unreasonable demands of others. In 2015 I scored below average indicating that I put demands on others and became easily frustrated with others. Though generally not calm and easily react this caused considerable conflict with others. However, since then that has changed as I'm not easily frustrated by others nor do I put excessive expectations on others. Though depending on the situation I can lose my cool. Due to the infrequency and low intensity of my anger it's one of those forgive and forget as I don't dwell on my anger.
Intellect the value placed on learning and complex thinking was scored high both times. I'm stimulated by complex thinking and can be easily bored if not intellectually stimulated. I greatly value and appreciate intellectual pursuits and constantly focus on gaining more knowledge just for the sake of themselves and not for a job or degree.
Competence the ability to learn quickly and apply knowledge scored very high both times indicating high confidence in my abilities. I know how to resolve problems quickly and make few errors when doing so. With this level of confidence I have increase likely hood of success of the tasks that I take. Others tend to respect my opinions and the solutions I develop.
Quickness is the ability to understand concepts and develop solutions quickly. Scoring high both now and then indicate that I believe I can pick up on concepts and solve problems quickly. I can readily assess a situation and determine what is necessary to achieve the desired outcome. As a result, I'm more likely to be successful in activities and careers that require you to process information and develop solutions immediately. I tend to be bored by activities that tend to be routine and don't demand much mental focus.
Reflection scored high then and now as I frequently notice and reflect upon things around me. I tend to appreciate beauty, creative pursuits, learning and discussing ideas. Such interests provide me with a positive focus and a great deal of satisfaction.
Introspection the need to contemplate my own thoughts, feelings, desires, and to act on those feelings scored high then and now with an increase to the now. I spend a great deal of time reflecting on my inner self and have a high desire to understand my internal motivations. I enjoy speculating about the motives for and influences on human behavior. I tend to believe in self-improvement by thoroughly understanding oneself. Such self-reflection can be very useful for solving certain types of problems. However, I also need to be cautious so as not to overly focus on my inner self to the exclusion of not managing real-world situations.
Depth is the tendency to be profound and intense. Scoring very high and 100 high I have a great deal of interest in examining and understanding the deeper meaning of the world around me and to have much insight into my internal motivations for my actions. This can be a very useful tool for understanding yourself and others. However, I may need to be cautious that I don't focus so much on analyzing that I don't take action and control of my life.
Ingenuity to develop plans and ideas through imagination and the ability to be clever. Scored very high both then and now. I have a great deal if imagination and I often think of things in different directions than other people. By this I created solutions that may have eluded others. It is easier for me to develop the ideas than to implement them.
Creativity is the tendency to approach problem-solving in a unique manner with curiousity about different types of solutions. Having a high score both then and now means questioning the conventional solutions to problems. Not only do I think outside the box but I try to thoroughly understand a situation or problem. I often develop novel ways of approaching situations. Though in this thinking I tend to reject practical solutions as too boring.
Imagination the ability to create new ideas and engage in fantasy scores high both times but higher the second time. I have an active inner life in which I can visualize innovative solutions and outcomes. Being frequently focused on this inner world has its good and bad. It helps if having a career or interests involving imagination and creative problem-solving. Though too much creates a struggle in managing a practical balance to my creative approach that it is necessary to achieve these desired outcomes.
So, while things have improved since 2015 I still have some work to do. Managing my social anxiety, working on obtaining my self interests and desires, and change my perspective on life to achieve a much happier life. Along with being more assertive. It all boils down to finding middle ground on some as it necessarily isn't bad to score to high on some of these. It shows how pure of heart I am.